Not What You Think
by Tears for Aurora
Summary: Harry abuses his girlfriend. Who is then comforted by his best friend. Then his girlfriend leaves him. He gets pissed off. His girlfriend starts to date his best friend. Ect.
1. Default Chapter

Title is 'Not What you Think'

Summary: Harry beats his girlfriend. His girlfriend starts to go out with his best friend. Harry is an asshole.

Disclaimer: I disclaim this crap.

Chapter 1: Broken

This breaks me. I am in love with Harry Potter. Or is it love? I no longer know. What I do know is that Harry Potter is not what everyone thinks he is. I wish I didn't know what I know. But wishing is for fools. Fools like… well, like me, Dammit.

Harry Potter is my boyfriend. Yes, 'The Perfect Couple', that's what we are. There isn't a single person who thinks he does what he does.

He told me one night that he was right. That he wouldn't hit me like he does if I didn't do so many things wrong. That it is right for him to hurt me. And hurt me he has.

I hold it all in. I have to, who can I tell? Who would believe that Harry Potter abuses his girlfriend? I can't believe it myself and I know first-hand that he does.

He hurts me, then I hurt me. It always happens the same way. Harry comes to my room, drunk of course and touches me. He wants me and he know I won't resist. He knows that I don't care, he knows that he controls me.

So I'm lying there pretending I'm far away with my mum and dad, not being raped by 'The Boy Who Lived'. Not having the most intimate part of me bruised by His hateful lust, not having my pale skin burned by his cigarette.

Is this really love? Is this beautiful thing that every girl dreams of truly dirty and wrong and painful? I don't want to believe that, but when he does what he does to me he says "I love you. You're mine and I love you."

I need my box cutter. WHERE IS MY BOX CUTTER??!!? And there it is. My only

Friend. The only one who cares about me. My life is ironic, no? I find comfort in the sting of cold metal and pain in the arms of my 'loving' boyfriend.

My box cutter loves me. She traces beautiful lines across my skin and takes away the emotional pain. The physical pain does not bother me. In fact I like the pain. I'm a masochist.

Roll up my sleeve. My arms are mangled. Bruises, cuts, burns, you name it. I push the blade of the box cutter up and place it to my skin. Sometimes I think that maybe I shouldn't do this. But the pain is essential; it's a part of me now. I don't think I could stop if I tried.

But today isn't the time to try. Today I cut. Today I need it badly. My box cutter loves me, no one else does. She takes my pain away. I pull the blade across my arm again and again. This is my magic. I trade emotional pain for physical. Fair trade.

I have to admit that he is good at what he does. I share this room with another girl. A girl that is close to me. But she does not know. He never gets caught, and its not like I can tell. My word against the word of Harry Potter. He saved my life, there is no way that they would believe it.

I wish Hermione knew. If anyone would even consider this it would be her. She has always noticed the rage within him. She just passes it off as anger from Sirius' death. Which it might be, but I am the one who deals with it. I am the one who is one the receiving end.

When I was younger, about third year or so, I would have these dreams. Hermione would come to my room and stroke my hair. She would comfort me, tell me that everything was going to be okay. I believed her. I think I still do.

When I am alone in my room I am leery. I hear people walking up and down the stairs and think its Him coming for me. But when she is in the room with me, I really do feel safe. Sometimes I wake up and my cuts are gone. Sometimes I wake up and Hermione is

staring at me, in that smart-ass way of hers trying to figure me out.

My name is Ginny Weasley and I have a problem, or two, or 8. My boyfriend is a famous hero… who beats and rapes me. I hurt myself and then I fantasize about a GIRL!! Wow, how the fuck did I let my life get so screwed up?

_Well chapter 1. My chapters are short, but there will be plenty of them, and often. This is not a happy story. If you're looking for a happy ending… look elsewhere. Reviews are appreciated. You're opinions matter to me -snort-._


	2. Chapter the second

Not What you think

Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for the review i guess. I'm glad people like this.

Now here I am. Not really me, but not really someone else. Stuck in this life that isn't mine anymore. I realized today that I have no control over what I do.

"Ginny" I hear the sinister voice say. "Yes?" I ask my voice cracking. I know that he's in my room. I just can't see him. His voice is too close, too close… I feel a hand run across my lower back. I knew it. I knew he was here. It's not even that he spoke, I can _feel _him. Sense him.

He wraps his arm around my waist and starts with my neck. I lean away from him but my throat instinctively moves toward his mouth. He knows my body well. He knows my body, but I know his mind. I know what comes next.

Ah, right on schedule. His hand moves to my left breast and his teeth make their mark on my neck. He thinks I am whimpering in pain. No, but I'll let him think that so he doesn't try harder to hurt me. As much as I hate this, my body loves it. Perhaps even more so.

He balances pain with pleasure. Making me light headed and feeling slightly sick. I have cramps in my stomach. No matter how much I like this it's still rape. No matter how hard he makes me climax, I still don't want this.

And now It speaks. "I love you." It says. I don't believe It. It thinks that I love it back. No I love someone, but it's not him. I look at my door. Hoping that no one comes in and partially hoping that Hermione will come and save me.

But come and save me she does not, I know she knows. She heard me crying out in my sleep. A nightmare, the same nightmare every night. The first time.

I was only 14. 14, Dammit! Who the hell does that to an innocent girl of only 14? I don't need to wonder, I know. He has a cold heart. And who could blame him? The only person who was even remotely like family to him died.

What the FUCK is my problem? I need to stop making excuses for IT. No matter how many reasons he has there is no justification. I was only a child. I was a little tomboy, I barley knew about sex. I mean of course I knew what it was, but to me it was still icky. I cried. I cried for It, I cried for me, I cried at the blood on my sheet, I cried just to cry.

And IT hit me. I didn't want to do it again. So I began to hide from him. He found me three days later…

FlaSHbaCk:

"Where have you been?" I heard him behind me. A few feet away. But moving, closer, closer.

I turn to him and see his eyes. What I see scares me. It scares me because there isn't anything there. Not a damned thing but lust and hate. His eyes, once so full of love and determination were changed. Still the same brilliant green, but there was less lustre to them. There was no hope.

He slaps me, hard. I cry out. At the time pain was not part of me. I was also very surprised. I was still confused about it. Was it real, had he really raped me?

But then was not the time to wonder. He was picking me up. His arm about my waist lifting me. And at that very moment it crystallizes. He raped me! He raped me and now he is going to do it again. I need to get away. I don't want to It hurts. It hurts!

But it didn't hurt that time. No, not at all. When he was done he smirked at me. Kissed me on the lips bruising the tender red flesh and walked away. I got to my feet and fell. There were still little aftershocks running through my entire body. I was swimming. Swimming in the most disgusting sensation. Did I just enjoy that? That's rape, you don't enjoy rape.

I was walking to my room. And I saw Hermione. She looked at my clothed and my lips and said "Hi" in a slightly defeated voice. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know that I didn't want it. That if there was anything I wanted it was her. But I just said "hey. Um… I'll see you later." And went to my room.

That was the first time that it occurred to me. I needed to scream, I needed to hurt something. I was so angry and hurt and emotionally drained. I just picked up the box cutter and… cut.

End FlasHBAcK

As if there was no difference in the times IT kisses me and leaves. I know better now. I clean myself up and spell my lips back to their normal size. Just as Hermione walks in the door. I thank the Goddess that I remembered to make the room not smell like sex.

I get that feeling again. I want to tell her everything. I want to tell her everything and I want her to hold me. But of course I don't.

"Hey Gin, what's up?" she asks. I look up. "See for yourself" I reply.

I immediately regret this. She looks up and her throat is there. Bent back, just like it would be if she threw her head back in pleasure. Now _that_ I would like to see. Hell, I'd like to cause that.

"Well, I've deduced that there is a ceiling up." I say nothing. My mouth has gone dry. I want her, badly.

I right myself and laugh at her cheeky remark. She is doing it again. Looking at me in that way that makes me feel like nothing but a sheet of glass. She looks unhappy all of a sudden. Fuck, she knows.

"Ginny. I think that you need to tell me something. I just don't know what." I look her straight in the eye. She is giving me a chance here. A chance to tell her everything. I want to, I need to. She is looking back at my eyes. Reading what I have.

She walks toward me. I take in a breath. She puts her arms around me. I am weak all of a sudden. My knees bend and before I know it I'm on the floor. My legs to my chest. My right arm hugging my torso, my right hand gripping my left shoulder. My left arm wrapped around my knees.

And I feel her. Her arms around me. Her right hand on my waist and her left in my hair. She is whispering nothings in my ear. Her breath feels good against my earlobe. I'm 13 again dreaming about this angel who tells me everything is going to be okay.

"Tell me." She softly insists. I am becoming light headed again. My vision is fading out. I stay sober for a moment longer. Just long enough to say "Rape." And hear her say. "I know." Then the world turns to shit.

_Chapter 2. I have it out sooner than I thought I would. This story has a part of me in it so I suppose I care about it. W/e. Perhaps I can write them all this fast. No promises though._


	3. Truth Sucks

Not what you think

Chapter 3

On with it!

I wake a few hours later. I am in my bed. Hermione is nowhere in sight. Fear hits me like the back of Harry's hand. Hermione knows. Happiness fills me, Hermione knows! After all this time my angel is going to save me.

But the fear returns. She isn't here. Did she go after IT? No, that's not her style. She is the type of girl who carefully plans revenge. Carefully plans everything. My mind runs little dirty images through it.

I'm smiling with my eyes closed. Pretending to feel her hands on my waist again. I must have a very good imagination.

"Why are you smiling like that?" IT. No, NO, NO, not now. Not when I am finally going to be happy. Not when I have my angel. IT sits on my hips. My face in numb so I know he has hit me.

"I asked you a question. Why are you smiling like that, hm? Masturbating you little whore? Well there's no need, I'm here." He starts it. I can't believe this. I need my angel.

As if she heard my thoughts Hermione walks in with a tray. Tea and sandwiches. She takes one look at the situation and her face goes blank. "Herms, we're a bit busy here. If you could…" IT says.

Hermione keeps her blank face and says in a perfectly calm voice. "I have nowhere else to go and Ginny and I were busy before you were busy. So please, if _you _would…" I could kiss her. Harry stares at her defiantly. She smiles at him. "Loads of homework you know. Ginny and I only have a month left to finish it all." She says again. When did she become a good liar? We finished our homework two weeks ago and _I_ believe her.

IT gets up and smiles at her. "Same old Herms." He says walking to the door. Hermione lifts her lip in a look of disgust as he passes her. She closes and locks the door behind him. Hermione bursts. "That asshole. I could KILL him. With my bare hands." She turns to me and he expression softens tenfold. "Are you okay?"

I nod. "We need to talk."

"Yes, we do. Tea?" she holds out a sandwich, that I take gratefully.

"Yes please. Would you like to start?"

"I think so." She hands me a cup of tea and I breath in the hot steam. Its nowhere near as comforting as her breath on my ear.

"How long?" Was as simply as she put it.

"Two years." At this she bursts again. "You were only fourteen?!!!"

"Yes."

"The bruises?"

"His hands."

"The burns?"

"His cigarettes."

"The cuts." At this I hold in my breath. Can I tell her this? This is not IT, this is MY dirty little secret. I'm so confused and I wish she didn't ask that. I let the breath out silently. I don't want her to know that I was holding it.

"What do you think?" I asked her.

"I think they are far too perfect to belong to Harry." She lifts her sleeve up. Her arms are like mine. All of a sudden I'm on my feet. "Who?" I ask.

"My father." I've met her father. I know her father. But now that I think of it, Hermione is subdues when around him. I should have known. How could I have missed it? There is no way.

I pull her to me. She lays her head on my breasts. I stroke her slightly messed up hair. It feels sorter than it looks. It's my turn to comfort. It's my turn to be strong. I like this role better. I hate feeling weak.

She tilts her head up to mine and I see the tears in her eyes. I can't stand it. I want to kill him. Her father and IT. I need my box cutter. I can't do it when she is here. I need to be the strong one for her.

She is looking at me. I see it. She wants me. But the gaze is not like His. She wants to make me feel good. She wants to give. I want her too. But goddess this is far too soon.

She sees what I mean through my eyes. She stands and walks to my piano. I look at her strangely. She opens it and pulls up the cloth. She opens her bag and pulls out a staff. "I didn't know you played." I say.

She smiles at me. "Only since I was 7." She places the music on the piano and cracks her fingers. I see that she has long, elegant, fingers. Her hands are perfect for the piano.

She places her hands to the keys and plays the scales. Her fingers move with the grace and stead of a practiced pianist. Then she plays a few nothing songs. London Bridge, Ode to Joy, ect. She looks at me and then goes into what the song in front of her.

Then the song begins. And I've never heard anything like it before. She is far more skilled than I. This song speaks. It tells a story, pain, sorrow, love, hate. Everything. It is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life. Tears sting at my eyes. Holy shit! I want to cry. It's been two years. Not since the first incident. She plays without looking at the notes. She knows this song by heart.

When its finished I find I cannot contain myself. I walk straight over to her and I pull her face to mine. She is crying. I can taste the salt. Gods she's beautiful. She is full of passion and love. I can tell that she has wanted this as long as I have.

"I wrote that." She tells me.

"I can tell. It's full of you. I could hear your pain. I feel like I know you better than I've ever known anyone.."

"Gin?" her voice sounds odd.

"Yes?" I ask concerned.

"Behind you." She says. All I know is the pain was so raw that I passed out. For the second time today.

_Chapter the third. Cliffhanger. I'm proud of this. I usually suck at those._


	4. chapter 4

Not what you think

Chapter 4

Fred and George are such sods. They come into my room and see my and Hermione snogging and they knock me out. Just like that! Well that was unpleasant. Worse was who came to my rescue.

IT woke me up and healed my head. Fred and George just look at me. When IT turns away I mouth at them to keep their mouths shut. They are dumbfounded so they simply nod in unison.

I turn to see Hermione with her bottom lip being ravaged by her teeth. "Bite any harder and you'll go clear through." I tell her. She immediately lets the poor lip free. Her eyes had something in them that I didn't like.

There was fear. She knows that Fred and George won't tell, but they are likely to hold it over our heads. I won't let them. I am really good at lying to them. They love to believe that I'm innocent little Ginny. I'll pull the little sister routine.

I give Hermione a reassuring look and the fear lessens. But mine rises when Harry asks Fred what happened. He looks at me and I mouth to him 'LIE'. And so my precious brother does.

"Well Harry, these two girls have been test subjects for our new experimental candy." He says. Damn, my brother is good. George throws in. "Apparently there are still some kinks to work out." They give Harry a wink and run upstairs.

I think that maybe they just got an idea. Well I look at Harry and he asks me if I need anything. I tell him no thank you, just some rest. He asks Hermione if she needs anything and she says no as well. He suggests we go to bed and I nod. Hermione grabs my arm and we walk upstairs.

We go into the room. Hermione walks over to the bed and plops down. I grab my wand and seal the door with every spell I know. I turn and she curls her finger at me. I walk over and straddle her.

She giggles a little and I push her down and roll off of her. She lifts an eyebrow at me. She wants me. I really want her, but I'm scared. I hate this, I hate IT. I hate that I'm not the kind of girl who could just do this. I hate that I need her to make the move.

I cannot start things, but I can go along with them. I hate being in control, and I hate it when I'm not in control. I'm just so confused. But she smells so good, so good. I just want her to make a move. But she won't. Now she thinks I don't want her back.

How do I let her know this. Can I tell her that I need to be the passive one? Can I tell her that all she needs to do is take me? No she'll think I like to be raped. But she wouldn't think that. She is a genius. She would know.

Okay then it's settled… I can't do anything about this! Fuck. I need my box cutter. But I can't let her know that I do that.

I can't let anyone know that I do that. I need to keep that to myself. My dirty little secret it must stay. Perhaps I should stop now. It seems as good a time as any. Yea, I'll stop! That's it, no more self-mutilation for me.

My mind suddenly goes blank. Is that her? Her on top of me? Doing things that I've wanted her to do for years? Knock on the door. NO! Not now. Not when I have everything that I need in life. I have her the way I've wanted her for so long.

She rolls off and I moan in hatred for whoever the hell is at the door. I get up and unlock the door. I've come to hate doors. I open it and there are Fred and George. My anger immediately dissipates. I owe them a fucking explanation. I need to think of a lie and I need to think of one quick.

Think…think…think… Eureka! Holy shit what kind of nerd am I? Who the hell even _thinks_ Eureka? But back to my lie. Hermione is basically a prude. Fred and George basically know that so I was teaching her how. Just being a good friend! Goddess I am good! I'll work on the eureka thing later.

"Gin, we were just wondering… you know… why you were snogging Hermione!" George said. Oh smooth brother. "George I want you to take a moment and look at Hermione." They both look at her. "Here is a perfect example of a prude. She asked me to teach her something. Being the kind person that I am, I wanted to help her in any way I could. Also it's different for girls. We can teach our best friend to snog and it's not a bad thing. All girls try it at one time or another." Not that I'd really know.

Fred looked at Hermione. George looked at Hermione. I looked at Hermione. Hermione is blushing. That adds a good effect to it. "It's true. It's embarrassing though, so please don't tell anyone."

Fred looks at George. George looks at Fred. "Tell anyone what?" they both say and run upstairs.

I lock the door again. As soon as I've finished the incantation I'm being pulled backward. I'm on the bed again. Right where we left off. "Well O great one, please, please teach me something." She says to me.

"Well actually, I think it's about time you took your exam, my naughty little student."

"I'll show you prude." I believe I've stuck gold!

On top of me. God I love that feeling. It's helplessness, but not danger. It's submissive, but not giving in. All that matters is this soft body on top of me and the person who controls it.

She is everything I have ever dreamed of, the polar opposite of IT. But It is the farthest thing from my mind.

My mind is not working properly. It's bliss, it's ecstasy, it's love. Back to my neck. Her tongue is soft velvet being traced across my skin. It sends shivers down to my center. The only time I've ever felt this way is when I daydream about her. Dirty little images that keep me going. Class was never so interesting.

A little voice in my head wonders. 'Does she daydream about me too?' I ignore it. I don't want to come off as the type of person who needs ego stroking. The only kind of stroking I'm interested in is the kind that she is giving me at this very moment.

She moves upward. Placing her lips on my chin, across my jaw. Anywhere but where I want. It gets to the point where I whine for her to end the teasing and just fucking kiss me already. She looks me dead in the eye and asks. "Who's the prude now?"

Touché.

_Four chapters. I might dance. (I probably won't. No worries.) To the one who asked about the piano, I like the piano. Nothing more to it. I play the piano, it is a part of me. It fit. To Jezebel Malice, I'm quite pleased that you are reading my story, and like it. You are one of my favorite authors. To the rest of you… Sup?_


	5. perfect

Not What You Think

Chapter 5- Perfect

A/N still not going to be happy. But I suppose I made that clear before.

I am swimming again. It scares me. I never knew that things could be this way. The only type of experience I have is violent and wrong. But here she is making me feel infinitely better than IT ever could, without doing even half of the things IT did.

She is fucking amazing really. I can tell that her hands don't have much practice. She is unskilled. But Goddess it feels so good. Truly I cannot believe that this is real. What I've wanted for such a long time is now mine.

But I still belong to IT. I need to get away from that relationship. I'm scared. I need to cut again. I wish I could stop like I vowed the other day… but I still need it. I can't just give it up. It's all I've had for the past two years. It was my only reliable thing. For two years it was my only.

The thing about the cutting. After all this time, it is comfort. It is safe. It has been with me when nobody else was. Never did my box cutter judge me. Never did my box cutter leave me. Never did my box cutter try to take from me. My box cutter gives and gives. I love it.

But then I see the content girl lying next to me. I realize that _she _never took from me. Holy shit, how fucking stupid am I? I mean really! How could I have not seen this before. I am one hell of an idiot! It's almost special.

I look at her and again I want to cry. There is moisture behind my eyes. This person is melting my iced heart. Her beauty is painful. I don't deserve her. Really, she is just about perfect. What am I? What did I do to deserve her?

There must be karma. I've been through so many bad things, maybe it's time to have some good in my life. Ginny deserves her good now. Wow, I _just _realized something. I'm gay!

Really I am a moron. I just had the most fulfilling and gratifying experience of my entire life and didn't even realize that it was with a girl. I suppose that I just felt, didn't think. That's a good thing… I think. Um, yeah, I don't care. All that matters is her. And that's good. Goddess that's good.

I need to talk to Harry. I'll go now. What's the worst that could happen. Okay. Need to sit back down, NOW! The worst that could happen. Let's review. He thinks that he is in "LUV" with me. He beats me, he rapes me. How much worse could it get? I should not have thought that. I've seen muggle movies, dad loves them. Every time one of those little people says 'How much worse could it get?' it gets much, much worse.

Okay. I am not going by myself. I am NOT going to tell him about Hermione. No need to bring her into this. No need for her to be a primary target for his anger. I need for her to be safe. If she is okay then I am okay. I'll ask her about it later. She is the smart one. She will know what to do.

For now I just want to look at her. What I see is not perfect. But to me… She could not be any better. I'm glad that I have her. Because looking at me… well I am horrible. Look at _me_. I can barely look at me. I don't even know why she would go for me.

I am so completely hideous it makes me sick. I wouldn't date me. I love her. I need her. Right now I am so content with just watching her chest rise and fall. Gods, she is beautiful. I don't think I could get anything better than her. I don't think there is better than her.

If things fell apart with her. I would be broken. But my shattered pieces would be okay. Because I would know that for a time, she was mine. I would cut. But that's not anything new.

Oh and speaking of cutting. Rubber bands. Rubber bands feel like cutting. It gives pain. It takes pain. But it is so much less messy. I'll see if this works. But I'm keeping the box cutter. I need it. Just in case.

Well I'm off to break it off with IT. I want to leave before my lovely wakes. Out the door. Up the steps. Into Ron's room. I knock on the door. Ron yells to come in. IT sits on my brother's bed. I say that I need to say something to Harry.

Ron says to spit it out then. I tell IT that I need to not be with IT anymore. IT says okay. That IT was thinking the same thing lately and IT hopes we can be friends. I walk away. I thought that would be harder. I was wrong apparently.

I go for a walk in the yard. Near the pond. I used to love the pond. There are all of these great odd looking fish. There are blue fish, red fish, rainbow fish. There are also frogs and ducks and all other types of things.

I sit down on the slightly damp grass. I look out over the pond and think. I'm free now. I am away from IT. Forever. I can be with whoever I want to be with. And I have someone in mind. I pick up a stone that is next to my left foot.

It is smooth and jet black. It is perfect. No scratches, no marks, nothing but shiny cool stone. I envy this stone. It has no flaws. It has no marks to tell stories of it's past. Unlike me. Just looking at one of my arms tells you half of my life. I hate my arms. I hate everything about myself.

Perhaps I'm being paranoid. But I know I just heard something behind me. I turn and I see nothing. I close my eyes and try to take a deep breath. But the air won't go as far in as I want it to. I try again. Nothing. I try again. Nothing. I try one last time. There, that feels so much better. I can't stand it when my air won't come in as far as I want it to. It makes me feel like I'm dying.

There that goes again. I'm almost sure that I heard something near the tree. But I cannot see anything. I cannot tell if I am hearing things or if something is really there. I turn back to the pond. I look at my stone and it happens.

Hand over my mouth. I breathe in the familiar scent. IT. No matter what IT is always there. I fear IT will always be. I am already on the ground. He kicks me in the side. I breathe out. I cannot take a deep breath again. IT is on top of me. Bruising me anywhere he can. Thrusting in and out. Hurting me. I'm not yours. I can't bring myself to say it.

I want to disappear so badly. I want to take this life and shove it. How will I hide this from Hermione? How can I hide this from her? I need to stay away from her. IT gets off. He slaps me with the back of his hand. "Now I'm done with you. Whore." I am shocked. Is it really over now?

IT walks away. I realize that one of my hands is pressed firmly to the ground. I lift it. There is the perfect stone. Only now, it's not so perfect. It's scratched and dirty, and worn. Oh well. I toss it into the pond and watch it sink to the bottom.

_Chapter 5. W/E._


	6. Alitees

Not What You Think

Chapter 6

As I watch the stone sink my heart breaks. I am not in much pain, which is good. I've a very high pain tolerance. The stone was something good, perfect, so unlike me. I wanted to keep it.

But whatever. It no longer matters. I am free. He is finished hurting me. Finished forever. Finally I can do things without the fear that once so plagued me. Never again will I need to hurt myself. Never again!

Hermione. This is an entirely new fear. I cannot let her know about this. Her mile long fuse has been burnt down to the last. Okay… um, must think of a plausible reason to avoid her.

Think… think… thin- I have it! Need to get to my room.

In the house, running up the stairs. My door is closed. I left it open. I open it a crack. Harry in my room…………….. Oh Goddess Hermione. I listen.

"So Hermione … you're not seeing anyone." I want to scream. She is seeing someone! More pressing matters. I can practically HEAR Hermione pale. She can't tell him about me.

"Err, no I'm not seeing anyone." Even though I know it is a complete lie it still stings. I want to be able to climb ton top of the world and scream that I belong to her. It speaks again.

"So I was wondering if you might want to go to Diagon Ally with me." She has to lie again.

"Um, Harry aren't you seeing Ginny?" NO!! I want to yell, but I contain myself, this is almost over, just a little longer.

"No we broke up earlier today. She was to immature for me." I explode. I mean I EXPLODE. I am no longer in control of my actions. My anger takes the wheel and steers. I swing the door so hard that it hits the wall so hard that there is now a doorknob-sized hole in the wall. Both of the people in the room turn to me. I am completely psycho right now.

My wand in my hand. Every curse and hex that I have any knowledge of running through my head. There are so many things that I could do for my revenge. So many things that I could make come off of him.

But in my rage and slight stupidity I simply yell "Petrificus Totalus." I don't understand it at first, but I get an explanation. I hear a female voice yelling in this morbid, almost evil voice.

"You ever loving Stupid son of a bitch. Pointless waste of space your mother ought to have swallowed you. For two years you have beaten me, you have raped me. For TWO YEARS. And now you want to say that I'm immature?!?!?! I WISH I were immature. But you took that from me didn't you? Her-" I point at Hermione. "She is mine. MINE!! Rot you piece of shit, ROT."

I look at Hermione. She is staring at me in awe. I have been holding that inside myself for so long. I am back in control now. I- oh my cock! What have I done? I was far too loud.

Hermione turns to our dresser. She opens all of the drawers. I pull our suitcases out of the closet and leave It open. She points at everything and yells "pack" at it. It does, quite quickly and neatly.

I hear my family coming from all corners of the house. We look at each other. She looks past me to the door.

I hear Fred and George. I hold the door closed with my wand. Hermione pulls me to her away from the door just before it is knocked open with great force. Well that might have hurt.

The door is open, all of my family are staring into my room. Looking at Hermione and I. She lowers her face to mine and I feel this sensation in my lower abdomen. We are apparating. I am being pulled along with her.

I have no fucking clue where in mother fuck we are. I look around and recognize nothing. Hermione walks away from me. I stand alone in this unfamiliar place. I look around again. The room is large, dark green. There is very little light. It's depressing… it's perfect.

Hermione walks back into the room followed by… MALFOY??? My mouth is open, I'm sure of it. She brought me to Malfoy's house. SHE is in Malfoy's house. WTF? She comes over to me and shuts my mouth.

Give her a look that positively screams 'Have you gone off your rocker?!?!' She returns a look that says 'no'. I believe her.

Malfoy walks over to me and he holds out his hand. I look at it. I continue look at it. Hermione rolls her eyes at me. "It isn't poison." She says to me.

I feel foolish. I firmly take hold of his hand. It burns a little. I don't pull away, not until I feel him pull away. I look at my hand. There is a small cut and my blood is slowly pouring out. Crimson filth, tainted by my past.

I feel a little better as I watch the blood pour out. This has always been a solace for me. It comforts me, tells me that I am still alive. Sometimes I cut just to see if I still bleed.

Malfoy and Hermione exchange a look. Though I can't tell what they mean by it- their faces are blank- I know that I just passed some sort of test. They start walking through the manor. We pass a kitchen.

Malfoy turns to me. "Are you hungry?" I shake my head, I am not hungry for food, knowledge of what is going on, yes that I want. We continue walking. After a while we are outside an door with intricate engravings on it. The is a D written inside the tangles and an M as well. Malfoy traces them with smooth movements. For a moment it seems as though his forefinger is one with the door. And then it opens.

I find myself inside Draco Malfoy's personal library. Holy shit it is marvelous. If I were to have a nervous breakdown this would be a lovely place to have it. So many books, so many. This place makes Hogwarts' library look like a bookshelf. And on top of it all the whole thing is like a restricted section.

Books that I had never before been permitted to read now sit comfortably before me inside their shelves. Hermione looks at me and smiles. The 'I knew you'd like this' type of smile. Malfoy sits in a tall backed chair. Hermione sits in one next to his.

They both look at me and then to the third chair across a small table from them. I take the hint and sit down. The first one to speak is Malfoy. "I suppose you would like to know exactly what is going on." I look him in the eye. "Yes." I reply.

"Well, Voldemort is dead." That is how the beginning of the rest of my life began. "Hermione and I killed him a little over four months ago. Now all that is left is for us to find a fourth." At this a Slytherin girl from my year walks in and takes the seat next to mine. "One would assume that a smart girl like you know of the prophesy that contradicts Potter's." He continues. I nod my head. I had read about it last year.

"Well you see _we_ are the people in that prophesy. Hermione befriended me in our fifth year. Together we started planning. That prophesy- if fulfilled- could change the course of our world. In a good way. Muggleborns and purebloods and halfbloods working together to make the wizarding world what it should be."

Hermione stands and pulls a book off a shelf. She brings it over to the table. She opens to page 693. She looks to Malfoy, who nods to her. She reads aloud. "An allegiance of four. Two snakes and two lions. Three females, one male. And arrogant Pureblood snake. A kind halfblood snake. A fiery pureblood lion. An amazing mudblood lion. These four will change the world. No more will there be good and evil. The will be one almighty. An ultimate unity in all of wizarding kind. These four will be the ones to end the war. They will rule the world in peace. In perfect love and perfect trust."

Malfoy looks to me. "As you see our destiny has begun to run its course. Hermione and I killed the Dark leader. Harry Potter has turned. He cannot survive our cause. What he has done to you will not go unpunished. Hermione and Moira have already started to see to that. And now if I may stop being so formal… Welcome to your life." Hew stands and envelopes me in his arms.

Hermione stands. She too covers me in her warmth and then Moira does. I am stressed. Very stressed. My nerves are shot. Surprise! I am one of the four Alitees. That was the prophesy. The Alitees. I pick the book up. I continue to read to myself where Hermione left off.

'The leader of the Dark world will be defeated by the Mudblood Lion and the Pureblood Snake. The leader of the light world will turn into something horrible. He will turn on the pureblood Lion and he will fall. The Halfblood Snake will be found in a state of near-mortis. She will turn away from her muggle Father and to the Alitee. The mudblood Lion befriends the pureblood snake when she finds him mangled by his malicious father. Together they turn away from their roots and begin the Alitee.'

Hermione walks over to me. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" I turn into her shoulder and cry. I was destined for this pain. I was destined to find her. I am destined to tame my family and get revenge. I cannot take it. It hurts so badly. Everything that I have been suppressing for so long is coming out now in my tears.

Hermione's breath on my ear is all I can think of. All I can focus on for fear of passing out. I hold her as tightly as I can. She is my rock. She is in my life forever. The two lions are meant to live as one. As well as the two snakes. I have found my only. I have found my purpose. I am now in my life.

She takes my hand and leads me to her… our room. It has the same cold and comfort as the rest of the house. I fall in love with our room. I fall in love with her again. She leads me to our bed. Our bed, it sounds so right. I fall into the most restful sleep of my life in the arms of my love. Tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow we have to prepare for Hogwarts. For a new year, filled with lies and deceit and revenge and reform.

I wake at three in the morning and she is looking at me. My cuts are gone. My past cleansed. I turn over.

I want to get back to sleep, I cannot do that looking at her. All that happens to me when I look at her is well, I just get turned on. I already had a nice graphic... dream about her. I need no help getting worked up.

"One would wonder ,since you just had a very nice dream about us, why you would turn away from me when I am the one who can make you feel it for real." Her hand is on my thigh. Tracing small circles.

A sharp intake of breath and a triumphant smirk from my lover. I am on my back now. She is on top of me. She nuzzles my neck and then sucks and bites, making sure to leave marks in her wake.

She smirks at me and moves her entire body downward. She pulls my blaxk tee over my head and stares at my breasts. "Lovley." She says. She looks into my eye one last time and then she puts her hand down onto my right breast.

She rolls it around in small circles. She looks at my nipple, seemingly not satisfied. She runs one finger in circles, touching everywherebut where i long for her.She takes my breast in her mouth onlywhenI whimper, begging her to.

She sucks on my nipple and then pulls back and blows on it. She smiles triumphantly."S'more like it." she mumbles. I smile at her and she runs her thumb along my lower lip. She bites down on it.

Ipull hertounge into my mouth and massage it. She takes time to study what it's like in there. She is herself in everything she does. Attentive to a fault.

She trails wet kisses down my shect, my stomach, my lower abdomen. Her fingers slip into the waistbacd of my pajama pants. She pulls themoff of me. She smirks at me. I know what that is about. I don't wear underwear when i sleep. She finds it cute.

She carreses me. I moan. She comes up to my face. She whispers in my ear. "Are you verywet for me?" she asks. I nod and moan. Her words are tormenting me, turning me on further if you can believe it.  
"Tell me."She says.  
"I'm wet for you."  
"Close. But not quite. I want you to tell me how wet you are for me." I smirk at her.  
"I Generva Weasley am very, very wet for you Hermione Granger.." I take this opportunity to even the clothes situation out. I pull her tee shirt over her head. I pull her pajama pants down and off of her. She is not wearing anything underweareither. I believe I have begun to rub off on her.  
"Are you very satisfied?"  
"Yes." She says and literally jumps on me. She crushes her face against mine in a fierce almost desperate kiss. Lips bruising, teeth scraping, the type of kiss I've only ever dreamed of before now.

She moves down, she strokes my nub. I moan. I am dizzy, so dizzy. But in the good way. My eyes are half closed. My entire body convulsing in pleasure. She slids two of her long piano playing fingers inside me.

Against my will I scream. My hips buck against her hand violently. She removes them and i whimper, Goddess when did I become the type to beg? Duh, when you started shagging her!A moment later i feel her tounge inside me.

A series of thrusts and i feel it coming on. She can tell as well. She puts her fingers back inside of me. She looks at my face. She increases her pace. I amlosing control. I feel it coming closer, closer.

I climax likeI never have before. My vision backs out completely. I feel my walls tighten around herhand over and over and over. I let out such a scream. She covers my mouth withhers to muffle the sound. Iget a sharp taste of myself in that kiss.

I wait for my body to calm. For my chest to stop heaving, for my heart to slow it's pace. Whenall of this happens I open my eyes. I see her looking at me with pride. As though that gave her even more pleasure than it did me, like that's possible.

I smirk at her and turn her onto her back and return the favor... all night.

_Chapter 6. My brain hurts. That took too much thinking. And now my libido is a little worn.Gimme a while for the next one. It'll be out though. _


	7. A little odd at first

Not What You Think

Chapter 7

-I just realized that I should be disclaiming. Well, it's not mine. I'll get over that one day. Consider this entire story disclaimed.-

I would like to be able to say that I woke up today after a restful night's sleep… but that would be a lie. I can't even say that I woke up, you see I never did get around to sleeping.

But one thing I've to show for the night is that I now know every inch of my love's body.

I know that if I run my nail along her arm I can get a quite substantial shiver out of her. I know that when she peaks she bites her lower lip and lets out a very hoarse and throaty moan. That when I do something she likes she hums a little.

Worth the fact that I now need coffee? I'd say hell yes and a half. I would spend every day of my life this tired if I could do that every night. But enough about that. I'm getting myself worked up again.

One thing that I also learned last night is that Hermione is a cutter as well. That all of this hiding of mine was in vain. I can read her body like she can read mine. Every cut I ran my fingers over burned a memory of her's into my mind. I know that her father has been beating her entire life.

I know that she has been leaving her house every night from the time she got her wand. Once she knew how to protect herself with it. I know that she has had her of age degree since her first year. The Ministry let her do magic over the summer from year one. So that she could protect herself.

I know that she has a tattoo on the small of her back. I know that she got it at age 13. A black rose with drop of blood falling from it's petals. It represents her. Something beautiful that bleeds.

I know that Dumbledore had to take her away from her house one summer for fear that her father would kill her in his rage. I know that She has been through too much, as we all have.

I need a shower. I'm off to the bathroom.

I start to run the water. I take my showers cold. I can feel it better that way. I step in. It takes my body a moment to adjust to this difference. I have, after all been warm all night. It is a violent and sudden change.

I take the shampoo and rub it into my head. I rinse and then I take the soap and wash the rest of myself. When I am satisfied that I am clean (which is no easy thing to do) I shut the tap and turn around. I see Hermione sitting no the sink watching me.

Glass doors… are lovely. For she turns on the hot water and strips right in front of me. Despite myself I blush. She kisses me on the cheek. "You're very cute when you do that."

"Do what?" I ask.

"That little blushing bit. It seems that shagging does not make you blush but me taking off my shirt does. It is very cute." She grabs my ass. "Just like everything else about you." She steps into the shower and does the same thing that I just did. Only she seems to be better at it somehow.

I stand there watching her for a bit. Then I turn to the sink. It has begun to fog a bit. I brush my teeth for the second time that morning. Hermione may be the child of dentists, but I am obsessed with oral hygiene. I cannot go an hour without a piece of trident. According to Sigmund Freud I have an oral fixation. But my teeth are healthy so its okay with me. Fuck Freud. And what kind of name is Sigmund?! I would have hated my parents.

I hear the water stop. It is very hot and foggy in here now. She comes out of the shower and grabs a towel. She wraps it around her figure loosely and dries her hair. She ties it up into a ponytail.

I walk out of the room and over tomy dresser. I open my sock drawer and pull out a pair of black silk boxers, a black bra that goes with it and a pair of black socks. I open the second drawer and pull out a tight black quarter sleeve shirt. Then to my third drawer, from here I pull out a pair of black leggings and a black pleated skirt.

Black is the only color I wear. It is safe. It makes people look away. I don't like the attention that bright colors draw. I walk over to the mirror. Hermione is standing in the door way. She watches me. I put on some deodorant. Very important. Some people in school need to learn the meaning of body odor.

I drop my towel and she whistles at me. I laugh at her. She is screwy like that. I pull on the boxers. After them the leggings. I put the bra on and I look at myself. I think I need to start eating again. I haven't done so in almost a week. Dammed depression. I look ill. But I'll deal with it today. I pull the shirt over my head. I pull the skirt over my leggings.

I smudge on a bit of black eye liner. My blue Weasley eyes (A'N: I don't care if her eyes are not blue. They are now.) seem to yell back at me, that is the effect of the eye liner. I put on a bit of mascara to open my eyes up more.

I am pale, the only one in my family who's freckles faded. Not a blemish. I suppose if I were not so odd other girls would envy me. But once they see the black they just look away, no one wants to be an oddball. To finish off the entire thing I put on some blood red lipstick. It makes my pale skin even paler. I pull my hair back into a loose ponytail and braid it. I spray a bit of vanilla perfume into the air and walk into it. I always smell like vanilla. I like it.

I am ready for the day. Hermione walks to her dresser and pulls out something similar to me. She does not wear boxers though. She wears a thong. Her bra is a little bit more lacy than mine, and a little smaller. She wears a pair of dark jeans and a black tee shirt. She puts on makeup identical to mine, just no lipstick. She isn't pale. She looks alive.

She puts on a watch. She also wears a load of those elastic bands on her wrist. She sees me eyeing them and takes out about 15 more and gives them to me. I pull them onto my wrists and I also remember to put a few rubber bands around my wrist.

She walks to the door and I follow. We walk down two flights of stairs and to the kitchen. Moira and Draco sit at the table snogging. Hermione walks past them as if they aren't even there. "Good morning Moira, Draco." She says. They brake apart for about two seconds and say in unison "Hey"

Hermione turns to me. "They do that every morning, they say breakfast is no good without it. You'll get used to it." I don't mind now. No need to get used to it. She walks to the fridge and pulls out some pumpkin juice. She pulls two glasses out of a cabinet and pours. She hands one to me and walks to the table.

I notice that there are four chairs today, yesterday there were only three. I suppose that means I'm here to stay. I take two pieces of bacon and put them onto my plate. I take a small portion of eggs and some toast. I push it around my plate for a bit. I'm really not hungry.

"You need to eat." I look up and I see Moira looking at me. She smiles and I nod. I eat and it's not that bad. Somehow I thought it would be horrid. But that is stupidity. I eat everything on my plate and then Moira puts a bit more. "A week of not eating. You need to make up for it." I eat it. I feel so much stronger.

That coffee that I thought I needed, well I don't now. It is surreal. Less than twenty four hours ago I was simply Ginny. But now I am one of the four most powerful people in the world.

"Ginny. You need to start training once you are up to your full strength again." Draco tells me. "Training for…?"

"We are going to take over the world as soon as you and Moira graduate from school. You are going to need to train for the next two years. It won't be very easy you see." He smiles. I laugh with him. "Yes, I see you point. I feel fine now."

"You're not." Moira says.

Everyone looks to her. "What? Everyone know it but her." She turns to me "Ginny you've been coping for too long. You are gaunt. You need to be a little thicker, like Hermione and I. Not fat of course, but a little more than skin would do."

I smile, I know that she is right.

Draco hands me a map. I look at it. It's the house. "You want to look around, I can tell. It will show you where you are at all times. So you can't get lost. Go and have fun." They seem to know everything. "We do." Moira says. I realize now that she is in my head. I try to get her out. I block her and throw her out. She looks startled. She is fighting to get back in. I am blocking her. "Very good. But no mind fights at the table." Hermione is reading the paper, smiling. Moira smiles and shakes my hand. "Stalemate." I say and take off.

I hear Hermione say "She doesn't realize." I just keep walking. I find myself back at the library. I see that the door has changed. Now it has my initials on it. I begin to trace them and as I thought yesterday about Draco's hand, mine becomes one with the door and pulls my forefinger across it. The door opens and I walk inside.

I look around properly. I find that it is even more beautiful than I thought. The books are all in perfect condition. I walk to the desk. I sit down. A book floats over to me. It is a book about… me. I tuck it into a groove in a shelf. I will come back for it later.

I leave the library. I don't feel much like exploring. I walk back to the kitchen. It's empty and clean. Like no one was even here today. Goddess this house is awesome. I look at the map. One section of the house is labeled 'training'. So naturally I walk to it.

I walk to the back of the house and open the door to the yard. I see Hermione and Draco on the field and Moira levitating on the side. Draco throws a spell I've never heard of at Hermione. She lifts her hand and the blue sparks slow down. Draco lifts his hand as well. It becomes a bitch fight. Hermione pushing the light toward Draco and Draco pushing it back at Hermione.

Moira opens her eyes. She looks at them. She lifts her hand. "Hermione let go." Hermione smiles to Draco and lowers her hand. Draco looks like he is about to shit himself. Moira pulls the beam of light to her and then sends it flying full speed at him. It hits him in the chest and he falls to the ground.

Hermione sends a spell to heal him. Moira begins to fight her. Hermione concentrates on it. "Focus on helping him, it'll make you ten times stronger than I am." Moira says. Hermione looks to Draco and closes her eyes. The yellow light goes flying toward him and he is revived.

Draco walks over to Moira who levitates upward so she can meet him eye to eye. "Cheater." Moira smiles at him. "Loser." Draco grabs her and pulls her toward him. She wraps her legs around him and they give an encore of breakfast.

Hermione rolls her eyes. "Is it lunch time already?" she asks them. They pull apart. Moira starts to suck on Draco's neck. "You have your girlfriend here. Stop bothering us and go snog her." He turns to me. "Hello Ginny." He walks into the house. "Goodbye Ginny." I laugh.

I look at Hermione. She throws a spell at me. I am taken by surprise. I fall to the ground. She throws another. I am chained to the ground. She walks over to me and sits on me, straddling my hips. "Cool." I say. She nods.

"Get up." She says. "Um, I can't. I'm not only chained to the ground but your sitting on me." She applies pressure where she sits. "Get up." She repeats. I am very confused. "With you mind." She says. I concentrate on the chains. Will them to be gone. They disappear.

"Very good." She says. I smile.

"Get up." She says. "With your body and mind." I plant my hands on the ground and push myself off of the ground. Hermione goes flying. I am standing. She stops mid air and just floats there. About 10 feet off of the ground. "Come here." She says.

This is where I draw the line. I do not know how.

I give her a look that says "make me." And so she does. I am scared shitless as I fly upward and to her. She puts her arms around my shoulders and pulls me toward her. "If I let you go you will fall." She says. "Yes, gravity is not on my side."

"Gravity has no control over you." She says and lets go of me. I concentrate on not falling and I don't.

I look to her and she smirks at me. "Hermione. This is training isn't it?"

"It's the first lesson."

"And how did I do?" she takes steps on nothing toward me and takes possession of my mouth. I feel her in my mind. "You did very well." I try to kick her out and find that I cannot.

She falls to the ground and lands like a cat. On all fours. "Come down." She purrs to me. I do. I reach to her and she slaps my hand away. "Catch me if you can." She says and transfigures into a lioness. I stare at her bewildered. She starts for the house and runs inside. I run after her. I am just in time to see her tail at the top of the stairs.

I run after her. She is a lot faster than I am. I must give her that. I run to our room and open the door. She is laying on the bed feigning sleep. I walk over to her and sit astride her.

She pretends to awaken. "Oh, must have dosed off, it took you so long to get here." She plays. I pull my wand out of my pocket and chain her to the bed.

"Now, if I wanted to I could be right out of these, but it seems kinky so I'll leave them." She says. I smirk at her. I mutter the undressing charm under my breath and she is nude.

I blush again. She laughs at me. Before I know what is going on the tables are turned. I am on my back and she is sitting on me. "Do you like the top or something?" I ask. She breaks into my head. "I do, but the best part is the way that you Ginny Weasley look so vulnerable on your back." She leans down and whispers into my ear. "It turns me on."

I moan. She is really good at making me submissive. She likes to be dominant, in control, me? I like to lie down and enjoy the ride. I put my hand on the back of her neck and pull her face to mine. I ask entrance to her mouth and she refuses. I am shocked, I mean she never… not before. She pulls away from me.

"Dinner time. She says. I reach to pull her back to me. She dodges me. "Woman, you come back here and finish what you started." I think and she hears it. I spoke in her mind! She looks me in the eye defiant and mischievous. "No." she says in my head and leaves.

I run after her. But she is already gone. I walk to the kitchen. I see Draco and Moira at the table. To my surprise they aren't snogging, just sitting eating and talking. I look at them questioningly. "Dinner is best left alone. We have rules; the dinner table is for eating alone. Anyone caught doing otherwise has to clean up dinner." Draco says.

I laugh. These people are quite odd. I sit next to Hermione and start to put food on my plate. I listen in on the conversation. Hermione is telling Moira that I can already break into her mind and levitate and so on. I can't hear her too well. I feel it on my knee.

That little hand of hers. Inching its way upward. She keeps talking like nothing is going on. "Ginny… Ginny are you okay?" she is addressing me. "Sneaky bitch" I think. I see the change in her expression, she is a bit unhappy that I just called her a bitch. She applies a bit more pressure to my inner thigh under the table. Her eyes show no concern, but her words are honey. "Are you feeling alright? You look a bit flushed. Eat."

"How can I eat when you are practically fucking me under the table?" I think at her.

"Ginny, maybe you should go to bed. Take your food with you." She removes her hand and puts it to my forehead. "Oh, sweetheart, you have a slight fever. Go ahead. I'll be up in a few minutes."

Draco and Moira are looking at me. They seem worried. I assure them that I will be fine after a bit of sleep. To spite Hermione I don't take my food. I can see that this bothers her. But she hides it well. I walk up the stairs too our room. I go straight to the bathroom.

I run my cold shower, only this time it's for a reason. I am pissed about this. I was hungry. It takes Hermione about five minutes to come in. She reaches a hand into the shower and turns the hot water on.

I shriek, I hate it. I lift my hand and motion at the lever, it turns off and my cold water is restored. She pulls me out of the shower the same way she pulled me up into the air during training. I struggle. She wins though. I guess that is her main power. Manipulating people.

I find myself held against her tightly. She kisses me, long and slow, gentle, loving. I'm taken by surprise. All day she has been demanding and rough with me. This is different. When she pulls away she looks me in the eye. I notice that they aren't brown anymore. No, now they are a pale blue.

"I'm so sorry Ginny. I have these mood swings you see. They are tied to my powers. I cannot control them. I get animalistic during and after training. I can't help it. I love you." She kisses me on the cheek and walks out.

Mental note, read more into the prophesy. There are side effects to all of our powers. Not to mention we all have one strong suit. I want to know what mine is. I want to know my side effect, and I want to know why Hermione's eyes were not brown. But right now I want to go to bed. I walk into the room and see that Hermione is already sound asleep. I lay next to her and drape my arm around her waist. Her hand instinctively finds mine and we stay like that.

Chapter 7. To be frank, fuck off. Pleez dunt tell me to update faster. I have shyt going on right now. And dunt take the 'fuck off' above personally. I'm just a bitch


	8. no name, so sue me

Not What You Think

Chapter 8

Shutting up. Time for chapter.

I watch my love wake. She turns to me and smiles. She jumps up and runs over to the bathroom. I hear the shower start.

I get up and walk over to my dresser. It has been a while since I was not the first one in the shower. I guess I can pick out my outfit before my shower today. Loose black sweats, with a black corset for a shirt. I grab a pair of socks. (black of course)

I am about to close my sock drawer but I see something shiny. There is a pewter pendant on a black cord. I pick it up, it's cold. It is a snake intertwined with a lioness and an A. As I watch it the snake slithers around the A and the lioness roars.

It scares the shit out of me, I drop it. The lioness roars at me and the snake hisses. I pick it up hastily. The lioness purrs and rubs her head against my hand. The snake licks me.

I put the cord around my neck. It glows momentarily. I feel hands wrap around my waist. I wrap my own arms around myself, gripping her arms with my hands. I feel safe.

Her hair is dripping on me and her scent is engulfing me. Love is scary. You don't even realize that it's happening. But you notice little things that you don't notice about other people. Like the way they smell.

She removes her arms from me and turns me around gently. She looks at the pendant. "Don't wear that in the shower." She says. I laugh.

She goes over to her dresser. She motions me over. I come. She tells me to get my wand. I do. She instructs me to point it right between her shoulder blades and say finite. So I do.

I gasp when the charm reveals a quite large tattoo of the snake lioness and A on her skin. Hermione looks over her shoulder at me. She smiles. "It is different for all of us. Draco has this chunky ring with the symbol." I am half listening. A little distracted because the snake and lioness on my pendant are greeting the snake and lioness on her back. "And did you notice that Moira always wears gloves?"

I didn't before but now that she mentions it I do. So I nod. "Well those gloves have the symbol on them."

"Why does she wear gloves?" I ask.

"Her primary power. They are extremely hot or cold at all times. I mean like hot as hell or cold like frostbite cold. She got her gift as soon as she tapped into her power. When we found her she was almost dead you know. Her father was mentally abusing her. She was able to channel her anger through her hands. She grabbed his face with both hands and one side was burned, badly, the other frozen. Draco had to heal him, and her. She had strained herself out, past her breaking point. But she is okay now."

I let out a low whistle. Damn. That's bad. I really want to know what my primary power is now. I take off the pendant. I put it back in my sock drawer. I go take my shower. I brush my teeth twice as always. Then I dress and put it back on.

I walk down the hall in front of Hermione and she grabs my ass. I turn to her and she isn't there. I am pushed up against the wall behind me roughly by her, I cannot see her but I can smell her.

She kisses me. Right there. The hooks and eyes of my corset are coming undone. I feel a hand sneaking into my sweatpants. I moan. And then I laugh into her mouth. I realize how odd this would look to someone watching. I'm her getting fondled by nothing, kissing nothing, moans sounding muffled when there is nothing muffling them.

She pulls away and materializes before my eyes. "What's funny?" she asks sounding a bit miffed. Her eyes are dark, lust filled. "Breakfast" I say and duck under her arm then run to the kitchen. I fix myself before entering.

I feel her pulling me back to her, but I am able to evade it. I walk in and there are Moira and Draco having 'breakfast'. I greet them and they nod not breaking apart. I giggle a bit. It really is funny. They are cute.

Hermione walks in, her eyes are black now. She greets the pair as well. They don't respond. She smirks at them and walks over to me. I grab her ass and she smiles. She turns away from me and gets her pumpkin juice and pours me a glass too. We walk over to the table and sit. She picks up the daily prophet.

She spits. Really spits, like spraying juice at the couple and Crookshanks, who was sitting on my lap. I deflect it, I am getting quite good at it. I wave my hand at the three soaked beings and they are dry.

She thrusts the paper at me. I see the front cover and understand the spitting. I come face to face with myself. "Generva Weasley Kidnapped." Reads the headline. Hermione is in my head. "You know what this means right?"

I shake my head in the negative. "It means that Harry talked his way out of what you said. Back into your family's trust."

"Ah fuck." I say aloud. Draco and Moira look at the two of us. I hand Moira the paper.

"Fuck. Shit. Dick. Twat. Cunt. Asshole. Son of a-" Draco puts a hand over her mouth. She takes the glove off of her right hand. It is white hot. Steam coming off it. Draco removes his hand very quickly.

"This is not good. Ginny at the end of the summer you are going to have to go back to the Burrow. You need to tell them that Hermione did not kidnap you, that you two ran away for a bit. Or something. Think of a lie. But something must be done."

I nod and I walk up to my room. I am not hungry. I slam the door I am so pissed off I cannot control myself. I look around the room. I want to hurt something. I want to cut. I feel myself leaving the ground. My anger lifting me. My pain keeping me aloft.

I levitate to the window. As I near it, it smashes outward and I levitate out. I hear Hermione enter the room. I hear her say. "Oh shit." And run across the room to the window.

She levitates out to me. She tries to pull me to her using her power. I shake it off. I see it form around me. A force field. It is blue a deep, deep blue. Exactly the color of my eyes. I look to the sky and I scream. I scream so hard that my lungs blow out. The sky parts and rain falls down. I can't breathe. See a tree and lightning hits it. It bursts into flames.

I create a fierce storm and I thrive in it. I suppose this is my primary power. I can shift great forces of nature. I see Hermione and Draco and Moira below me.

Moira takes off her left glove and touches the flames. They turn into ice. Hermione pulls the ice away from the tree. Moira puts her left glove on and takes her right one off. She melts the ice and that mistake of mine is corrected.

Draco heals the tree. Hermione bends the force field and walks in. Her eyes become bright white and so does her hair. Two beams of light come out of each of her hands and wrap around my four limbs. I feel myself being pulled downward.

I calm myself. Actually no I don't. My lack of oxygen starts to get to me and I am fading fast. Draco comes over and heals my lungs. Hermione is walking away. I see the tears rolling down her cheek.

I look at Draco and Moira. They both look worried. I take a nice deep breath and the two visibly relax. I get up. Moira touches my arm with her gloved hand. "Leave her, she needs time to calm down. I haven't seen her color drain in a long time. She needs time to cool off." I don't pay attention. I simply walk after her.

Draco calls after me. "Don't feel bad. You aren't one of us until you almost kill yourself." I give him the finger and Moira laughs at him.

I catch up to Hermione near a small lake. She is sitting there looking out at the lake. Her hair is changing. I watch as it goes from white to gray to light brown to her actual color.

I motion to the lake and I pull some water up. I manipulate it into a lioness and make it walk along the lake's surface. She lifts her hand and squashes it. She stands and turns to me. Her eyes are pale blue again, but they are bloodshot. Red and blue, red and blue.

She throws herself into my arms and sobs. Her legs give out and I hold her up. I run one hand through her hair, the other firmly on her lower back. She looks up at me. The red is coming out in her tears. She is crying blood.

I gasp and she wipes it away. I get the tattoo now. She cries blood after she has to use her powers in full. I hate myself for causing this. I pull her tighter to me and I kiss her. I kiss her slow and passionate. I pour everything I have into it. My anger, my pain, my hatred, my sadness and she does the same. We sit there and watch the lake.

I make a few water figures and I just hold her. We stay like that for hours. Just lying there taking comfort in each other. She begins to fall asleep. I run my fingers up and down her back, the same way my mother would when I used to cry. I whisper into her ear. Sweet nothings, the same way she did to me when I fell apart in my room.

After a while I fall asleep too. I dream of the storm that I made. I see myself turning in the air surrounded by lightning and rain and clouds. I see that I look very powerful. I notice the things that I did not, could not while it was actually happening. That I was glowing. That my Pendant was at the end of its corn sticking straight outward. That the shy responded to me. I see Hermione, her power, her love, her pain.

I wake screaming. Hermione. She is on me. That seems to happen a lot. Her forehead pressing against mine. "You were convulsing. Badly. What did you see?"

I take a second to remember where exactly the hell we are. I see the lake and the setting sun, somehow through her hair. Actually one has to admit, her hair is a lot smaller than it was before. I suppose she used her powers to do that.

"Ginny, I'm waiting." Wow, she's being kind of bitchy. I look up at her playfully. "Well I see you." I grab her face and pull it to mine. I ask for admittance. But access is denied.

I look at her, my eyes whining. "What did you see?"

"I saw something that I want to forget. I saw what I just did. What I did to me, To Draco, to Moira……. To you." My tears are escaping. I want to get away. I remember the lesson that Hermione gave me.

I place my hands firmly on the ground next to my head and push as hard as I can. Hermione did not expect this. She went flying. Higher than the last time. I suppose I can do that better when I really want to get away.

I stand and test my powers again. I pull a wind to me. I let it sweep me up and bring me to my window. I quite like my powers. I feel like storm from a comic book I once read. Men-x or something. Whatever. It's very cool.

I take my second shower of the day, and then I go to bed. Tomorrow I'm going to the Burrow. I'll shop for my school things and then I will go to school and meet up with Hermione, Draco and Moira.

Hermione walks in half and hour later. She reeks of alcohol and smoke. I turn right around and I break into her mind. "YOU DRANK and SMOKED?"

I see that she is drunk. I can hear it in her tipsy, timid "yes."

She is meant to be the strong one. But then again, how fair is that of me? How can I have a nervous breakdown and hurt her, then yell at her when she indulges a little? I disgust myself.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. I suck sometimes. I love you. Good night Hermione." I go to sleep. And I don't dream. I'm glad for it.

_Well that's done. A little shaky I think. I hate that. But I tried. The next chapter will be much better written. I fell bad to say this, but this chapter was basically filler. I needed to get something out of the way. So I made this piece of crap (even though its not really that crappy, just not up to my standards)._


	9. 9

Not What You Think

Chapter 9: Don't want to cope.

Disclaimer: Not mine

_A/N: I had writers block. Thank you for putting up with my shyt. I'll try to be quicker this time._

I can think of at least a bajillion things that I would rather be doing right now than lying to my mother. I can think of a bajillion and one ways I could run away. I can think of ten people I would rather be in this room with. I cannot hear a word my mother is saying to me.

_Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind.  
Where worries are washed out to sea._

I sit here nodding when it seems appropriate, and muttering little gulity sounding "Sorry mum's." I am so sick of this. And I am thinking of the countless ways I could flay the boy they call Harry Potter.

_See the changes, peoples faces blurred out.  
Like sunspots or raindrops._

I cant help but let my mind wander to Hermione. To the life I had for a little while. About the life that I will have again.

_All those feelings, those yeasterday's feeling  
Will all be lost in time.  
But today I've wasted away for today is on my mind.  
_  
A smile sits on my face. The smile of someone who knows something that someone else does not know. "Ginny this is serious, why are you smiling?" I take a moment to focus on my mum. She looks less cross than before. But at the smile on my face she thinks that I am being cheeky.

_Left the only worries I had in my hands  
Away from the light in my eyes.  
_

"It's just that this whole thing was a misunderstanding. If you think about it, it is a bit funny." I say and she smiles too. "Yes, I do see that. You can go to your room now, since you are under restriction." I nod a sad looking nod. A grimace in place on my face.

_Holding tight and trying not to hide how I feel  
Cause feelings mean nothing._

I walk up to my room. I open the door and immediatly hate what I see. My room is white. Walls, bedspread, carpet, all white. This is not alright. I wave my hand at my room. Everything is black. My room looks smaller and I like it. I conjure a lock for my door.

The lighting in my room is very bright. Its not good. Not good at all. I take the lights out or the ceiling. And I conjure a magenta lava lamp. Very good.

_All those feelings, those yesterday's feelings  
WIll all be lost in time.  
But today I've wasted away for today is on my mind.  
Yeah today is on my mind._

I throw myself into my bed. And just lay there. Hours go by and my ceiling is still the only thing I want to see. It's not like it matters. I don't really have to see anything else anyway. Hoorah for the ceiling!

HaHaHa... no. I am so bored. Fuck this. I stand abruptly. No more of this. I walk to the window and summon a wind. I sit on it and hover for a few moments to test it. Falling off of a wind thatI created is most definetly not on the to do list.

I slide to the ground. Smooth landing. 'Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the Backyard of the Burrow. Please be sure to remove all belongings from the over-head storage bins.'

_I can't get a worry. I'm feeling so lonely.  
Breaking apart all this love in my heart._

I run to this big ass tree in the yard. I climb slowly to the very top. I make myself comfortable in my usual branch. I feel around for the box I keep up here. Oh, I've struck gold!

_Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind.  
Where feelings mean nothing now.  
All those feelings those yeasterday's feelings,  
Will all be lost in time.  
But today I've wasted away.  
For today is on my mind.  
For today is on my mind.  
Yeah today is on my mind._

I pull the boxcutter out of the box. There is some fire whiskey in there and a pack of green cigs. There is also a cloth. My grandmother gave that to me. I've had it for four years. It still smells like her...

"What the hell are you doing up there? How did you get up there?" Oh fucking dick wad shit crap! Why _him_? Why not Fred or George? Or mum or dad? I want Hermione. Not IT.

"I'm sitting up here and I climbed you fucking moron." I call down at him. I can _feel_ his smirk. "Little helpless Ginny Weasley climbed up there all on her own?  
"And dumbass Harry Potter was able to come to that conclusion all on _his_ own?"

He isn't smirking now. "Why don't you come down?" At this I laugh right out loud. "I can think of a list of reasons not to come down."  
"Like...?"  
"You are a fucking _baby_ rapist." I shout.  
"So you consider yourself a baby?" He is challenging me. The bastard.  
"I was when it started you fucking asshole." I spit.  
"Fine, fine. I was just trying to make peace. But if you want to be enimies then..."  
"I will never, never be able to make peace with you. Not until I have my revenge and when I do, you aren't going to have any intrest in making peace with me-"  
"You are all alone-"  
"I have Hermi-"  
"You have nothing!" He walks away from me.

I cut myself good and deep. Over and over. Just three days of this shit. Then school. Then training. Then Hermione and Moira and Draco. Only three days.

Fuck I want Hermione. I close my eyes and move to the back of my mind...  
"Ginny?" I open my eyes. Hermione!

My arm! Ah fuck. She is staring at it. Her gaze is sad. She walks over to me. "Lovely..." I just throw myelf into her arms. I need her. Her warmth, her smell, her love.

I smash my face into hers. Not caring that i may have just broken my nose. She tastes like toothpaste and Hermione. She smells like lye soap, which is not particularly sexy, but oddly appealing.

I pull her down onto the floor. I need to feel her. I wan to taste her. A big black tee-shirt and black panties with a skull right over he heat. So fucking hott it is not even funny.


	10. This too shall pass

Not What You Think

A/N: I know that I left off in the middle of my scene in the last chapter and for that I apologize to all of you. It will never happen again. Especially because this is the last chapter of this story. Erin

Chapter 10: This too shall pass...

I woke up in my own room. I must've gotton back rather late (Early?) because I simply went to sleep in my clothes. Something that I happen to hate doing. I wake up feeling stuffy.

I get up and walk to the bathroom I made in my room. That whole sharing with tons of other people thing, yeah.. no. I take my cold shower. I place my pendant around my neck. While brushing my teeth I see it. I have a fucking hicky!

I am going to kill Hermione. I wave my hand at it. It doesn't dissapear. She must've hexed it to stay. I get my wand and mutter a counter to the hex that I'm sure she used.

It dissapears. And I laugh. Why would she hex a hicky to stay on my neck? Freaking screwball. I dress myself in baggy black sweatpants,a big black tee-shirt and black and white converse sneakers. I throw my hair up into a loose ponytail, with a pretty black rose barret. I put on my eye liner, but thats it.

Walking down the stairs I pass Fred and Goerge's room. They've got some girls in their room. Mum'll freak if she finds out. I mutter a silencing spell for them and the noises cease to reach mine ears. I sigh a long sigh and continue down the stairs.

As soon as I get to the bottom I smell breakfast. I walk into the kitchen to see my mother herself standing over the stove. Her face has a bit of flower smeared onto it. I giggle a bit and hand her a napkin. She looks at me quizically. I grab the napkin and wipe the flower away myself.

"Oh, thank you dear. Sit, I have pancakes." I sit and she places about four dozen pancakes in front of me. I eat two. She smiles. I smile. I almost feel like a daughter again.

Ron walks in followed by rat bastard. They grab food. Not even bothering to say hello to my mother. I look at them in disgust.Rat bastard smirks at me over his breakfast.My stomach turns over andI get to my feet ans walk out to the yard.I throw my pancakes up in thebushes behind the house.

I go to my tree and climb quickly to the very top once again.Two days. Just forty-eight hours and I'll be at Hogwarts. Everything will be fine in two days.

Its a cloudy day. Rain begins to fall. Ron calls out the back door for me. I jump down out of the tree and land on my feet. He looks at me like I just sprouted six extra legs and became a spider.

I walk past him into the house and cause some lightning outside. He is afraid of lightning. He jumps a bit and quickly walks inside.

I walk to the stairs. Rat bastard is watching me. I walk up them making sure my hips are not moving at all. I hear him get up. I run up to my room as fast as I can. I shut every lock I have on my door. I walk into my bathroon. I lock all of the locks on that room. I walk into the walk-in closet and lock all of those doors. Then I turn and look at the door I created to go outside. I open it and sit out on the wind. Up high I go. Onto the roof.

I lay down on the roof. I let the rain fall onto me. I play with the storm. I write words with the rain. Ginny Weasley loves Hermione Granger sits writtenin the sky for a few seconds.

After a while the storm ends andI begin to dry off. I hear my mother in the house. Apparently they are wondering how my door got locked and why I'm not answering them.

I float down to my door and go into my closet. I unlock the door and walk into my bathroom. I unlock that door and walk into my room. I walk to my door and unlock it.

My mother is no longer standing there. I'm about to call down the staircase when there is a hand covering my mouth. Muting any words of protest that there may be. I'm pushed against my door.

IT has gotton me again. It's nasty coroded tounge is in my mouth. It's hand on my ass. Fuck. Just Fuck. I push him away and he looks at me. Looks at me long and hard then slaps me. I don't even flinch. I pull my arm back and I punch him as hard as I can.

He doesn't flinch either. Pity. I look him in the eye once. Then I walk around him and toward the stairs. He slaps my ass. I flip him off.

Fucking prat. I go and see my mother. I fell asleep mum. I didnt hear you knocking. I charmed those locks on. I like privacy. Just the other day Ron walked in while I was changing.

Problem solved. I walk back up to my bedroom and I actually go to sleep. I'm dead tired. Too much practicing during the storm. I sleep for hours.

When I wake it is five in the morning. Tomorrow we get on the Hogwarts express. I spend this day acting dull. Alive, but not living. I feel streched in too many directions.

I help my mum cook dinner and I daydream about Hermione. I got up to my room again. I grab my trunk and I look around the room I have lived in for sixteen years.

I pack all of my books in the bottom of the trunk. Then I pack my clothes. Then I pack all of my quills, parchments, bottles of ink, and potions ingredients. I go and grab the silky bag that is tucked under my bed. I look in it once, making sure all of my porn is there. And it is.

I pack that in the side. I take my toothbrushes, hair brushes, razor, boxcutter, lighter, makeup and perfumes. And I'm done. Wait, cant forget my stuffed unicorn. Once Timmy the unicorn is tucked safely in my trunk I shut it.

I go to my bed and sleep again.

"Ginny, get up. Ginny" knock knock. "Ginny! You're going to be late." I am not going to be late. My mother doesn't know that though. I happen to be getting dressed, I've already showered and brushed my teeth twice.

I drag my trunk behind me and open the door. My mum is quite shocked to see me ready to leave. I've been up since six. I walk down the stairs after mum.

Everyone is ready. We get into the car. The drive is short. We get to the platform. I see Hermione, but no one else does. She smiles to me and walks through the barrier.

I saygoodbye to my mother ans father and walk casually throught the barrier. Hermione is right behind it waiting for me. She grabs my hand and pulls me to theback compartment.

I store my trunk. Hermione stores her's. She kisses me and tells me that she missed me. I hold her and tell her I missed her too. I sit down and pull her into my lap.

She grinds against me and I gasp. It's only been two days since we last had sex. But for some reason I want her really badly. I reach my lips up to her cheek. I move to her neck and her ear. She smells so good and feels so good...

Then she is getting up. And I am looking at her like she is crazy. That was nice, why'd you ruin it, kinda look. "I have Head Girl duties love. It'll be an hour before I'm back."

I pout. She smiles an apology. I make a 'fine go then' noise. She kisses me sweet and leaves. And now I'm bored.

I stand and reach for my trunk. I hear the compartment door open. I search for a book to read in my trunk. "Did you forget something, love?" I ask.

Hermione doesn't answer. I find the book I'm looking for and I smile in triumph. "Hermione?" I ask. Again she answers not. I turn and drop my book on the floor. My mouth is hanging open.

Why the hell would I forget to lock the compartment door? Why the hell would I stay here by myself? Why didnt I go and find Draco and Moira?

He turns and locks the door. When he turns and looks at me I feel a bit of fear. I try to unlock the door with my mind and find myself unable. I needed to train more.

His eyes are empty. His face is twisted in rage. His hands clench and unclench at his sides. His body seems to grow with every stephe takes toward me. "You fucking piece of shit."

I move backward. I think I know what happens next. I hope I'm wrong. I hope to hell that I am so very wrong. He punches me in the face. I fall backward. "You fucking stupid bitch." He kicks me in the side.

I catch my breath. I slowly get to my feet. He smiles a twisted smile at me. "Why did you go through the trouble of standing up?" He asks. I shiver. "On your knees." he says.

I don't move, can't move. No. I will not, I absolutely will not. He pulls his hand back and slaps me. My head snaps to the side and tears sting at my eyes. But I will not fall.

He grabs me. I struggle. But my powers have abandoned me and I am as helpless as I have ever been. One tear escapes my eye. I go numb. I feel the carpet of the train floor beneath my knees. I move out of my body.

He unzips his pants. I cry. He pulls himslef out of his boxers. I cry. He slaps me. I keep my mouth shut. He yanks on my hair and I call out and hes in my mouth. And I cry.

I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't feel. I can't think. I'm stuck with his cock in my face not able to do a thing about it. And then he is done. I spit. I spit and I gag and I choke and I cry and I spit again.

He zips himself up and looks at me. He seems a bit shocked. I wonder why for a breif moment. Then I feel my pendant. It pulls on my neck. It is standing straight out on its string.

Lioness roars and snake hisses and tha A burns red. I can see. I can feel. I can breathe. I am powerful, I am going to make him pay once and for all. I feel around for it. It fell out of my trunk when I was getting my book.

My left hand grasps my wand. I am going to fucking kill him. I am going to make him pay for... everything. Every little thing that he has ever done to me. And then, no.

I just want him to die. I don't need to watch him suffer. I just want him dead. As dead as he can possibly be. But then I want pain again. I'm so confused.

I stick my wand in his mouth. With all the contempt I posess I spit out the words. With all of my hate I tell him to die. With every bit of me that craves revenge... "Avada"

And His green eyes hold fear. I watch as his life passes before his eyes. For once it is he who cannot move, speak, breathe... anything for fear. And I feel that is enough. His last act was forcing me into oral sex. Now the last thing he will ever do is die with my wand in his mouth.

I'm satisfied. "Kedavra" He falls. A limp form. A shell of a fucked up person. From his beginning to his end he was fucked up. And he tried to take me down with him. I have escaped. He can never hurt me again.

I slide down to the floor next to his body. This poor person. This poor, terrible person who hurt me. Never again...

_A/N: I thank you for putting up with me. I thank you for reviewing. I thank all of you. Even those who read and dont review. I can't believe its over. Thank you all._

_Erin_


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